What is a Microwave

A microwave is a metal box that sends microwave radiation through itself. The microwaves will get absorbed by any water molecules inside the box and turned into thermal energy. This effect makes it possible to heat objects made for human consumption in a manner that makes them safer to eat by killing microorganisms or more desirable to eat by altering the texture

How to use a microwave

A Special Note to the Human named Miguel

We would greatly appreciate it if you used the communal school microwave and set the setting on the popcorn mode instead of using the communal robotics team microwave. If your name is not Miguel and/or you are not a human, please, continue reading and educate yourself.

Step 1: Prepare

Because it is dangerous to operate a microwave without anything inside to absorb the microwave radiation, you must put something inside it. However, it is discouraged to put an object into the microwave as is. Most microwavable objects must be unpacked and placed on a non-metallic surface that is safe to contaminate with edible materials. Such objects are often called “plates” or “bowls”.

Step 2: Insert

Most microwaves have a mechanism to temporarily open the box so that material may be placed inside. Since this mechanism may vary from microwave to microwave, please consult the manufacturer on how to open your particular microwave. The 2 most common methods of opening a microwave are

  1. A button near the corner that opens a door when pushed

  2. A handle on a face of the microwave that reveals a door when pulled

After activating the mechanism, you may insert the object.

ProTip: If you put your object on a “plate” or “bowl”, the microwave’s owner will be happy as the microwave will remain clean for a longer period of time.

Step 3: Activate

Many microwaves have another mechanism that allows the user to specify a certain amount of time. Since this mechanism may vary from microwave to microwave, please consult your microwave manufacturer on how to input time into the microwave. The most common method of inputting time into a microwave is a keypad of Hindu-Arabic numerals located near the box-opening mechanism. Once you have specified the amount of time that you would like to microwave the object, close the box and activate the microwave. This is most often done by pressing a start button. Sometimes, a microwave will automatically activate if a time has been specified after the door has been closed. Do not worry, this is not a problem with your microwave. Microwave manufacturers implemented it so that lazy Americans would not have to press as many buttons when operating their microwave.

Step 4: Wait

Your microwave is now operating autonomously. You have the option of staring at the opening mechanism of the box or being productive and moving your bodily appendages to complete tasks. The microwave will make a loud, undesirable, ear-piercing noise when the time has elapsed. WARNING THE MICROWAVE IN THE ROOM TENDS TO DEACCELERATE THE SPACE TIME CONTINUUM IN ONLY IN SPACE THE MICROWAVE MACHINE OPPCUPIES. YOUV’E BEEN WARNED. WATCH CAREFULLY.

Step 5: Retrieve

After the time has elapsed, you may operate the opening mechanism of the box and retrieve your item. If you deem that the texture has not been altered enough or dangerous microorganisms remain, repeat these steps.

Step 6: Use

Most items are used after they are microwaved. Spherical and oblong plant seeds are often microwaved while submerged in water in order to soften them for human consumption. Dried grain products are often microwaved while submerged in water because an alternate source of energy cannot be found. Occasionally, an item that has been microwaved will not be used, but any recording of the item being microwaved will be shared and used to increase numbers in various locations.

A Very Special Note About “Microwave Pancakes”

A very special type of disease causes the desire to manufacture and consume the abominations often referred to as “microwave pancakes”. The only way to prevent attaining this disease is to consume food at regular intervals. This disease is not contagious, but will afflict groups of people if they have been together for a long time. This disease is called “hunger”. If someone attains “hunger”, they are called “hungry”, not to be confused with a person from the European country of Hungary, called “Hungarian”(not to be confused with Donald Trump, otherwise known as a “humanitarian”(not to be confused with a person who eats animals for money, a “veterinarian”)). To cure the disease known as “hunger”, victims must consume food such that they may attain nutrients from them. However, while the build room has many materials such as “PVC”, “2-part Epoxy”, “Polycarb”, and “Tap fluid”, it is currently unknown if these materials are safe for human consumption. Smart build children(referred to “buildren”) understand that the safety of these materials is questionable at best, and will eat materials guaranteed for human consumption. The most readily available material is pancake mix.

Making microwave pancakes

Pancake mix comes in a powdery form and is undesirable to eat as-is. In addition, eating pancake mix raw may be harmful to the respiratory system as pancake mix particles may be inhaled and cause blockages. To make the mix cohere, buildren will add water to the mix. However, this form is still undesirable to eat, as it is a cold, wet slurry of grain products. Because of this, buildren will microwave the slurry. Experienced buildren will microwave the slurry for 2-10 minutes. Inexperienced buildren will hear the advice from their superiors, think “maybe it will be better if we microwave it for longer”, and proceed to microwave the slurry for upwards of 15 minutes. This is actually a correct conjecture, and will result in the fluffiest pancakes on earth Microwaving the slurry for over 15 minutes will result in the pancakes igniting, creating a smell worse than that of burnt popcorn and a color change.

How to surveil using a microwave

CLASSIFIED INFORMATION

WARNING:

MICROWAVES CAN BE DANGEROUS.

DO NOT LEAVE YOUR MICROWAVE UNATTENDED!

IF YOU HAVE NEW (OR A LACK OF) SENSORY INPUT THAT INDICATES THE PREMATURE STERILIZATION OR TEXTURE ALTERATION OF THE OBJECT, DISENGAGE THE MICROWAVE, OPEN THE BOX, AND RETRIEVE YOUR ITEM

#FAQ

Q: Can I charge my phone in the microwave?

A: No, one cannot charge their phone in the microwave. It is inefficient to convert electricity to microwaves and then back to electricity, so phone manufacturers do not implement this capability. Microwaving your phone will result in permanent damage!

Q: Can I microwave metallic objects?

A: Yes, it is possible to insert a metallic object into the microwave. However, it is important to note that doing so will create electric arcs, and possibly a loud noise and toxic gas resulting from a mushroom cloud, so be sure to be wearing appropriate hearing protection and lung protection.